Honoring veterans
By Doug Hoagland dhoagland@selmaenterprise.com
Geneva Emens married a man marked by war. She and her husband, Dale, recently celebrated their 64th anniversary. They've had happy times over the years, but they also had to deal with raging wartime stresses that still affect him. The Selma couple observe Veterans Day knowing that it's not just veterans who are touched by combat. Family members can feel helpless as they watch their loved ones struggle with wartime stress. Dale Emens' struggle began in the skies over Europe. He was co-piloting a B-17 on a bombing mission against the Germans during World War II. His plane was hit by enemy gunfire and he bailed out, but his parachute didn't open right away. After it finally did, German planes flew close by, trying to make the parachute fail. Emens escaped by floating into a cloud.
Once on the ground, he walked for eight days with little food until he was captured and sent to a prisoner-of-war camp for 21 months.
After the war ended, Dale Emens came to Modesto, where his sister-in-law was working with a young woman named Geneva. They were introduced and liked one another right away.
"She had nice people," Dale Emens said, referring to her family.
Said Geneva Emens: "I saw a good man." He didn't smoke, drink or swear. He also had a good family.
What neither of them knew is that Dale Emens was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder -- an anxiety disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to traumatic events that threaten or cause great physical harm.
There was no such term when they married in October of 1945. She was 19; he was 25.
They honeymooned at a cottage on Lake Tahoe. There were no restaurants close by, so Geneva Emens did all the cooking during the week at the cottage.
Terrible dreams soon started to intrude on their lives.
Dale Emens would dream about his wartime experiences and be drenched with sweat when he awoke next to his frightened wife. She asked no questions and told no one what was happening.
"I just held it in," Geneva Emens said. "I didn't know how to help him. We didn't ask questions back then."
Dale Emens didn't volunteer anything, either. He went on with life -- he and his wife eventually had three sons; he worked for the Post Office, and then as an air traffic controller before opening his own office supply business. The family moved every few years -- in part because of transfers that Dale Emens got as an air traffic controller. They ended up living in more than 10 different cities in six Western states.
Dale Emens welcomed the moves because he was restless after the war, and he and his wife even spent four years on the roads of America moving people with a truck. She didn't want to be there, but she went to be with him. "We've never been able to stay away from each other," Geneva Emens said.
No amount of moving around, however, allowed Dale Emens to escape his wartime memories. In the early 1980s, he was hospitalized with a nervous breakdown. By that time, people were talking about post-traumatic stress -- and realizing that veterans like Emens could suffer years after the fighting stopped.
He recovered from his breakdown, and for the first time, Geneva Emens learned some of what her husband had gone through. "It helped to know," she said.
The couple settled in Selma four years ago so they could be close to the Veterans Administration hospital in Fresno, but still live in a small town.
The dreams of war still come to Dale Emens at night. "My memory is not good anymore, but I'll never forget that time," he said. The dreams don't bother him as much as they used to, however.
Through it all, his wife kept loving him. He's been "the greatest husband on earth," she said.
For their anniversary this year, the couple returned to Lake Tahoe and stayed in the cottage where they spent their honeymoon. A woman who takes care of the cottage wrote something special on the back window of their car.
"64 years and still in love."
The words are still on the window, plain for all to see.
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